George Stephanopoulos' "This Week" presented some words from Laura Bush with surprisingly little irony. Mrs. Bush was speaking at something called the "Conference for America's Youth."
"Children whose parents show them love and support and stay active in their lives have an enormous advantage growing up," she said. "Yet too many children grow up in homes where one parent is absent--most often, their father."
Hey, Pickles! How many American families do you reckon have been left fatherless by the Stupid War your hubbie started?
Just curious.
In other news, the Sunday talking heads are of course all about the indictments. Tim Russert has gathered three former presidential chiefs of staff and has asked them what, exactly, President Bush needs to do to repair his presidency. Of course, only the Clinton guy, Leon Panetta, gave even close to the correct answer, saying that the president needs to address the American people on this issue head-on.
I think the only way George can salvage his presidency right now is to RIF a couple of dozen people immediately, starting with the one and only Karl K. Rove. Not that this will actually happen, of course, but I think it's the only way Bush can thrash aside his incredibly early status as a lame duck. Heads need to roll. Now.
Anyway, you can claim disappointment in the indictment or try to sell it short, but it accomplishes a number of things. It directly connects on paper the leak and the White House. It places VP Cheney closer to the investigation than before. It establishes certain facts that right-wing talking heads cherished obsfucating. Most important, it requires a trial with an A-List witness list.
This indictment is just the beginning. Yee-haw.
P.S. KIAV predicts that Bush's next nominee for associate Supreme Court Justice of the United States will be:
John Cornyn.
October 30, 2005
October 29, 2005
Over There
This is a real live letter from "Dear Abbey." As Dr. Maddow would say: Life during wartime.
DEAR ABBY: I'm an American soldier serving in Iraq. When I went on leave for two weeks to see my family, I found out that my wife had posted a profile in a chat room on a public Web site. When I asked her about it, she denied it. When I showed her what I had found, she confessed.
I wouldn't have been upset, but she lied to me -- besides, the profile presented her as single. It included a picture and information about how she looks and what she's "looking for." This has really put a dent in our marriage. I can't trust her, particularly from over here. She claims it was a one-time thing because she was bored.
I don't want to leave her and my three daughters, but now I have no trust in her whatsoever. It's tearing me up inside. Everything she does I question, and it's wrecking our marriage. I want to trust her, but what should I do? Please help me. -- SSG HURTING IN IRAQ
DEAR SSG HURTING: Until your tour of duty is over, your most important priority must be your own safety. That means you must develop tunnel vision for a while and think of nothing but yourself and your mission. For now, accept what your wife says. Time and distance can do strange things to people's relationships, and there is nothing more stressful than what both of you are experiencing right now.
If your daughters are being well taken care of, accept that for the time being. When your tour of duty is over, there will be time to deal with this -- through marriage counseling or spiritual counseling. So listen up: Please trust me and stay strong.
DEAR ABBY: I'm an American soldier serving in Iraq. When I went on leave for two weeks to see my family, I found out that my wife had posted a profile in a chat room on a public Web site. When I asked her about it, she denied it. When I showed her what I had found, she confessed.
I wouldn't have been upset, but she lied to me -- besides, the profile presented her as single. It included a picture and information about how she looks and what she's "looking for." This has really put a dent in our marriage. I can't trust her, particularly from over here. She claims it was a one-time thing because she was bored.
I don't want to leave her and my three daughters, but now I have no trust in her whatsoever. It's tearing me up inside. Everything she does I question, and it's wrecking our marriage. I want to trust her, but what should I do? Please help me. -- SSG HURTING IN IRAQ
DEAR SSG HURTING: Until your tour of duty is over, your most important priority must be your own safety. That means you must develop tunnel vision for a while and think of nothing but yourself and your mission. For now, accept what your wife says. Time and distance can do strange things to people's relationships, and there is nothing more stressful than what both of you are experiencing right now.
If your daughters are being well taken care of, accept that for the time being. When your tour of duty is over, there will be time to deal with this -- through marriage counseling or spiritual counseling. So listen up: Please trust me and stay strong.
October 28, 2005
October 20, 2005
I don't understand why, but I felt like at the time I was the only person who was outraged by the pictures.
It was July 2003, and the news was reporting that Saddam's sons, Uday and Qusay--who had always been bitter little assholes because their father named them in Pig Latin--died in a firefight and my government decided to patch up the bodies real nice and show them on television.
It was disgusting. It was sick. Sicko. Gross. It was vomitous. It was the "culture of life" hard at work.
So every time a new charge comes out, I am always amazed at the outrage and the surprise that seems to come up. What are you so surprised about to learn that U.S. soldiers burned two dead bodies and then used the event to taunt the enemy? Your president didn't seem to see anything wrong with using two corpses to prove a point.
"This command does not condone the mistreatment of enemy combatants or the desecration of their religious and cultural beliefs," said Maj. Gen. Jason Kamiya, the top U.S. tactical commander in Afghanistan. "This alleged action is repugnant to our common values, is contrary to our command's approved tactical operating procedures, and is not sanctioned by this command."
Oh, really? That's why on July 23, 2003, we all had to spend the day looking at a couple of mummified corpses?
It was July 2003, and the news was reporting that Saddam's sons, Uday and Qusay--who had always been bitter little assholes because their father named them in Pig Latin--died in a firefight and my government decided to patch up the bodies real nice and show them on television.
It was disgusting. It was sick. Sicko. Gross. It was vomitous. It was the "culture of life" hard at work.
So every time a new charge comes out, I am always amazed at the outrage and the surprise that seems to come up. What are you so surprised about to learn that U.S. soldiers burned two dead bodies and then used the event to taunt the enemy? Your president didn't seem to see anything wrong with using two corpses to prove a point.
"This command does not condone the mistreatment of enemy combatants or the desecration of their religious and cultural beliefs," said Maj. Gen. Jason Kamiya, the top U.S. tactical commander in Afghanistan. "This alleged action is repugnant to our common values, is contrary to our command's approved tactical operating procedures, and is not sanctioned by this command."
Oh, really? That's why on July 23, 2003, we all had to spend the day looking at a couple of mummified corpses?
October 14, 2005
Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?
I drifted off to sleep listening to Mike Malloy last night. Malloy is on via rebroadcast at 1 a.m. on XM, so yes, I was up late. But I had just seen MSNBC's "Countdown" at midnight and had just become aware of the unfathomably awkward "spontaneous" press event held with 11 American troops from Tikrit.
Malloy had the wrong take on the whole thing altogether. He was angry (surprise, surprise). Which puzzles me. These days, the Bush administration barely needs our opposition to be defeated because it is working so tirelessly to defeat itself, and you're angry? Dude. Get a grip. This stuff is FUNNY.
Malloy was going on and on about how the troops were used and how this was a terrible, terrible thing. I'm sure the troops don't think they were used. I'm sure the troops genuinely believe in the mission and are honored to speak to the CIC, even if the event is such obviously staged bullshit. I'm sure the troops are bewildered by those of us who disagree with this White House's policies and are pleased to have an opportunity to talk to the American public about all the spiffy things they're doing in Iraq.
But, I wonder: Who, exactly, designed this fiasco, and when do they get a Presidential Medal of Freedom? Who imagined that such tele-masturbation was going to be useful? Whose minds did they believe such transparent stagecraft was going to change? To wit: How does dabbling in bullshit help when the core problem for this administration is that it is drowning in bullshit?
Witness America's own little Baghdad Bob, Puffy McMoonface, also known as White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. Here is a KIAV Horrible Reenactment of yesterday's press briefing:
Reporter: Is it possible that Harriet Miers might withdraw her own nomination?
McMoonface: No, I think she's very qualified to be on the Supreme Court. You should look into that.
Reporter: Yes, but do you think she might withdraw her nomination?
McMoonface: I sure do wish you reporters would stop sidestepping the real issues and just report that Harriet Miers is the most qualified human being ever in the history of the universe to sit on the Supreme Court. Just stop making this all about her religion already.
Reporter: It sounds like you don't want to say that she is tenacious.
McMoonface: Of course she's fair-minded! Stop trying to suggest that she's not fair-minded! Just look at her qualifications and her record. She thinks the president is cool. And he is. So there. Thank you, no more questions.
End scene.
Bullshit has a tendency to rot things out from the inside, to break down any opacity that might be covering it up, and to eventually seek the glorious antiseptic of sunshine. That's what you're seeing these days with this administration, although for the life of me I'll never understand why most people in this country didn't start seeing the bullshit a long, long time ago.
Malloy had the wrong take on the whole thing altogether. He was angry (surprise, surprise). Which puzzles me. These days, the Bush administration barely needs our opposition to be defeated because it is working so tirelessly to defeat itself, and you're angry? Dude. Get a grip. This stuff is FUNNY.
Malloy was going on and on about how the troops were used and how this was a terrible, terrible thing. I'm sure the troops don't think they were used. I'm sure the troops genuinely believe in the mission and are honored to speak to the CIC, even if the event is such obviously staged bullshit. I'm sure the troops are bewildered by those of us who disagree with this White House's policies and are pleased to have an opportunity to talk to the American public about all the spiffy things they're doing in Iraq.
But, I wonder: Who, exactly, designed this fiasco, and when do they get a Presidential Medal of Freedom? Who imagined that such tele-masturbation was going to be useful? Whose minds did they believe such transparent stagecraft was going to change? To wit: How does dabbling in bullshit help when the core problem for this administration is that it is drowning in bullshit?
Witness America's own little Baghdad Bob, Puffy McMoonface, also known as White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. Here is a KIAV Horrible Reenactment of yesterday's press briefing:
Reporter: Is it possible that Harriet Miers might withdraw her own nomination?
McMoonface: No, I think she's very qualified to be on the Supreme Court. You should look into that.
Reporter: Yes, but do you think she might withdraw her nomination?
McMoonface: I sure do wish you reporters would stop sidestepping the real issues and just report that Harriet Miers is the most qualified human being ever in the history of the universe to sit on the Supreme Court. Just stop making this all about her religion already.
Reporter: It sounds like you don't want to say that she is tenacious.
McMoonface: Of course she's fair-minded! Stop trying to suggest that she's not fair-minded! Just look at her qualifications and her record. She thinks the president is cool. And he is. So there. Thank you, no more questions.
End scene.
Bullshit has a tendency to rot things out from the inside, to break down any opacity that might be covering it up, and to eventually seek the glorious antiseptic of sunshine. That's what you're seeing these days with this administration, although for the life of me I'll never understand why most people in this country didn't start seeing the bullshit a long, long time ago.
October 13, 2005
From This Day Hence, KIAV Is In Memory Of Theodore R. Heller
Theodore Roosevelt Heller
Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section), 1700 S. Harlem Ave., Chicago. In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans.
Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section), 1700 S. Harlem Ave., Chicago. In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans.
October 12, 2005
Donkey Honkeys
I spend a lot of time on this little soapbox talking about how annoyed I am with the Republicans that I forget to mention that I'm annoyed with my homies in the Democratic party, too.
Like the bizarre little pineapple we find ourselves in regarding the Miers nomination. We overwhelmingly opposed Roberts on solely political grounds despite that the man was smarter than the whole Judiciary Committee and Carl Sagan with one foot strapped to his head whilst bowling. So, as it happens, Bush's second choice is a very nice lady who considered him to be the "best governor ever," which makes her a braindamaged sycophant, besides being someone with no intellectual or professional background in constitutional law. But we opposed Roberts despite his outstanding qualifications. How can we now oppose this lady by claiming that she's not qualified?
And, like, how can we run anyone in 2008 who has voted for the war? And why did those Democrats vote for the war, anyhow? Upon more reflection, I'm convinced that this is what did Kerry in. He voted for the war but ran opposing it, and that contradiction made him look really, really silly. So, he lost.
If only there were a senator who had the sense to vote for a qualified Supreme Court nominee when he's sittin' there who ALSO voted against the Iraq resolution. If only, if only, if only.
Like the bizarre little pineapple we find ourselves in regarding the Miers nomination. We overwhelmingly opposed Roberts on solely political grounds despite that the man was smarter than the whole Judiciary Committee and Carl Sagan with one foot strapped to his head whilst bowling. So, as it happens, Bush's second choice is a very nice lady who considered him to be the "best governor ever," which makes her a braindamaged sycophant, besides being someone with no intellectual or professional background in constitutional law. But we opposed Roberts despite his outstanding qualifications. How can we now oppose this lady by claiming that she's not qualified?
And, like, how can we run anyone in 2008 who has voted for the war? And why did those Democrats vote for the war, anyhow? Upon more reflection, I'm convinced that this is what did Kerry in. He voted for the war but ran opposing it, and that contradiction made him look really, really silly. So, he lost.
If only there were a senator who had the sense to vote for a qualified Supreme Court nominee when he's sittin' there who ALSO voted against the Iraq resolution. If only, if only, if only.
October 7, 2005
Desperate Presidents
I didn't know that the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center was a vacuum, or that it was drenched in pixie dust. Did you?
President Bush thinks it is.
Bush Thursday delivered a blistering, sometimes correct, and even damned interesting speech there. It was a landmark speech in this presidency, there is no doubt about it, one that delivered a few dramatic shifts.
Rather than addressing America's stateless enemies with the vague, broad classification of "terrorists," Bush flat-out put his finger on it: America's greatest enemy in the world is Islamic fundamentalism. We've not tended to name our enemy so clearly since Bush was chided for referring to this effort as a "crusade." Also, the speech directly addressed the dynamic that actually drives their hatred of the United States: Global Jew-hating.
Oddly enough, Bush resorted to drawing fierce parallels between Islamic fundamentalism and, of all groups, communists. That was weird.
Not so weird but more completely expected was Bush's continued effort to disucuss the Stupid War in terms of September The Eleventh.
--Bush claimed that the United States has thwarted ten terrorist attacks since The September The Eleventh.
--Bush certainly does seem interested in UBL again, doesn't he?
--Finally, in a more predictible vein: When will these people stop insisting that Saddam was in one of those aeroplanes? Holy cow.
President Bush thinks it is.
Bush Thursday delivered a blistering, sometimes correct, and even damned interesting speech there. It was a landmark speech in this presidency, there is no doubt about it, one that delivered a few dramatic shifts.
Rather than addressing America's stateless enemies with the vague, broad classification of "terrorists," Bush flat-out put his finger on it: America's greatest enemy in the world is Islamic fundamentalism. We've not tended to name our enemy so clearly since Bush was chided for referring to this effort as a "crusade." Also, the speech directly addressed the dynamic that actually drives their hatred of the United States: Global Jew-hating.
Oddly enough, Bush resorted to drawing fierce parallels between Islamic fundamentalism and, of all groups, communists. That was weird.
Not so weird but more completely expected was Bush's continued effort to disucuss the Stupid War in terms of September The Eleventh.
--Bush claimed that the United States has thwarted ten terrorist attacks since The September The Eleventh.
--Bush certainly does seem interested in UBL again, doesn't he?
--Finally, in a more predictible vein: When will these people stop insisting that Saddam was in one of those aeroplanes? Holy cow.
October 6, 2005
...or whatever it's called...
Dear Dr./Gov. Dean,
I am a proud Democrat but I cannot help but laugh nonstop regarding your use of a certain colloquialism on "Hardball" last evening. I wanted to help you with the following advice.
First off, I imagine that Mrs./Dr. Dean is getting pretty darned tired of you grabbing her by the elbow and saying, hey, baby, let's you and me go and exercise our executive privilege, and then making that wink-wink noise. No, Doc, that's not what the kids are calling it these days. So stop it. Just stop it.
Further bits of advice for you, with all due respect:
I hope you have found this information helpful.
I am a proud Democrat but I cannot help but laugh nonstop regarding your use of a certain colloquialism on "Hardball" last evening. I wanted to help you with the following advice.
First off, I imagine that Mrs./Dr. Dean is getting pretty darned tired of you grabbing her by the elbow and saying, hey, baby, let's you and me go and exercise our executive privilege, and then making that wink-wink noise. No, Doc, that's not what the kids are calling it these days. So stop it. Just stop it.
Further bits of advice for you, with all due respect:
- You probably should not refer to President Bush's plan to overhaul Social Security with private investment accounts as the "horizontal rumba."
- Please stop referring to the 2000 presidential primary as a "Mongolian clusterfuck." While this phrase is a completely accurate characterization of that primary, it is entirely inappropriate to say it in front of cameras.
- Calling the Bush administration's domestic policy a "Cleveland steamer" is perfectly acceptable, anytime, anywhere.
- Under no circumstances, I repeat, under no circumstances, should you refer to the Title IX Education Amendments of 1972 as "reverse cowgirl."
I hope you have found this information helpful.
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