I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got

By Brady Bonk

Tivo Alert: Rachel Maddow will appear on Conan this evening.

I know that I am one of the few who actually cares about this kind of thing. I tried time and again to set the world on fire with John McWeirdsmile's bizarre use of the phrase "I'll follow him to the gates of Hell," but nobody else seemed to see it nor care. Similarly, I am constantly correcting folks who take the "-ic" out of "Democratic."

However, I am hearing and reading a lot of people discussing Republigoats in terms of "sour grapes." No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO no no no.

"Sour grapes" is not the same thing as being a sore loser. "Sour grapes" is a specific rationalization, when one denies that he desires something that is unattainable anyway. If John McWeirdsmile now said, "You know, with the financial crisis going on and two wars and everything, and the friggin' job only pays $400,000 a year anyways! Who in his right mind would want that job? Phooey!" As a matter of fact, I must admit that, had John McWeirdsmile won, I would have been employing a sort of sour grapes arugment. Screw it, they won it, they can have it, I would have written here. Let them run this country further into the ground, then they'll see; they'll see this friendly fascism at work, an then, they'll not only come out to vote, but they'll pour out into the streets! That's sour grapes.

One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling through an orchard till he came to a bunch of Grapes just ripening on a vine which had been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the things to quench my thirst," quoth he. Drawing back a few paces, he took a run and a jump, and just missed the bunch. Turning round again with a One, Two, Three, he jumped up, but with no greater success. Again and again he tried after the tempting morsel, but at last had to give it up, and walked away with his nose in the air, saying: "I am sure they are sour."

The moral: It is easy to despise what you cannot get.

Language is special and important. The phrase in question is from a specific fable and describes a specific foible. To use it in other contexts dulls its efficacy and renders it mundane. You might as well be using it to describe a skin condition or your pants. Besides that, it makes what the Republigoats are discussing seem somehow quaint compared to the actual vitriolic nature of some of the things coming out from over there. They are not engaging in sour grapes. They are being sore losers, bad Americans, and assholes. (And, hey. What’d you expect?)

So. Ixnay on the oursay grapesway. Unless, of course, it is what you actually mean to say. Way.

Another item: For the first time evar, I have nominated this blog to

(my comment is still awaiting approval).

Wish us luck.