Revelations from Big Love

You can't make the bottom line about GLBT marriage any clearer than did Barbara, the fanatical Mormon mother in Big Love, when confronting her daughter who was about to get married at the court house. "It (the courthouse wedding) isn't celestial, Barbara exclaimed. It's not even in a church. It's nothing. It's just a contract with the government." Exactly so. There are church marriages and there are government marriages and that's the way it should be. The problem, of course, is that some people with church marriages think they have rights superior to the rights of others… superior even to those of other churches that may embrace GLBT marriage. (Which begs the question, if the civil authority refuses to recognize a gay marriage conducted in a church that allows it as part of its liturgy, isn't the civil authority violating the constitution? But I digress.) I am inspired by Barbara to offer a new structure for state law that clearly speaks truth to morons on the subject of GLBT marriage. The law would first recognize the right of churches to define marriage for themselves without limitation by government. Churches could exclude anyone they want and include anyone they want. Churches could marry same sex couples if they so choose. They could exclude same sex couples. They could practice miscegenation. Some states might want to limit polygamy or polyandry, not that there is anything wrong with it, but the constitution appears to allow this significant infringement on religious freedom. The law would then recognize marriages conducted by civil authorities between any persons without regard to sexual preference. State laws may also recognize polygamous and polyandrous marriages (which they would be doing if they allowed churches to recognize them). In either case the states would need to amend the divorce laws to provide methods for unwinding all or part of a multiple marriage.) States may impose on either type of marriage the public health requirements they now impose, and protect children by imposing age restrictions. In the interest of efficiency, I recommend that the new statute eliminate the need for marriage licensing. Marriage certificates could instead be issued by the marrying authority, and produced when necessary by the married persons. I know that all this is self evident to anyone who has a clear understanding of the correct relationship between church and state. The average moron, however, needs it spelled out.