January 29, 2010

Book 'Em, Holder

It’s Farthammer Friday, everybody!

Today, Charles discusses the handling of attempted underpants bomber Umar Farouk Hubbadubbadingdong and the pending trial of Khalil Sheikh Mohammed. He is annoyed that the underpants bomber was eventually Mirandized and is of course frothing at the mouth at the notion of trying Mohammed in a criminal court.

I think that Charles Farthammer and the other hysterical conservagoats who can’t fathom why such by-the-book measures are necessary need to start a ginko biloba regimen. They’ve forgotten so much.

Let’s remember, for instance, the case of José Padilla. Shall we?

Padilla was an American citizen arrested on May 8, 2002 in Chicago. On June 9, 2002—two days before a district court judge was to issue a ruling on the validity of continuing to hold him—Gorge Dubya Busch ordered Donnie Rumsfeld to declare him an “enemy combatant” and he was sent to a South Carolina brig without any notice to his family or to his attorney. After 3.5 years of court decisions, many of which were decided on technicalities, Padilla was suddenly indicted in civil court—likely to avoid a pending decision on his case by SCROTUS. Padilla was charged on three criminal counts, two of them, including a terrorism charge were thrown out. Padilla was charged with “conspiracy to murder, kidnap, and maim” and sentenced to 17 years.

Should we…remember the case of Yaser Esam Hamdi?

Hamdi, born in Baton Rouge in 1980, was captured in Konduz, Afghanistan, in November 2001, said to be fighting alongside the Taliban. He was sent to a prison near Mazri Sharif, where there was a three-day prison riot and fighting. Hamdi surrendered and identified himself as an American citizen. He was denied legal counsel until December 2003. Hamdi’s father petitioned a federal court to charge Hamdi and to give him a trial. On June 28, 2004, the Supreme Court decided in Rumsfeld v. Hamdi that “the Executive Branch does not have the power to hold indefinitely a U.S. citizen without basic due process protections enforceable through judicial review.” This was a decision with eight out of nine justices on board.

Should we…remember Abu Ghraib?


One reason there’s a need to do things more “by the book” is because the previous administration insisted on flouting the law so egregiously, and that, as a result, justice was severely denied to some people. Again, Busch and his crazy Republigoat bruthas screwed it up, and now we gotta fix it. But, there is a more compelling case to be made for the American criminal system versus the kangaroo courts that are being argued for by Farthammer and his ilk.

Let’s look at the recent history of military tribunals and wonder to ourselves why in the wide wide world of sports do right-wang bobble-heads have such a raging hard-on for them, shall we?

In Hamdan v. Rumsfeld (Donnie sure spent a lot of time in court, didn’t he?), the Supreme Court held that military commissions set up by the Bush administration to try detainees at Guantanamo Bay lacked “the power to proceed because its structures and procedures violate both the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the four Geneva Conventions signed in 1949″ and that Common Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions had been violated. Dig?

However, the Court did say that Congressional approval could allow the commissions, and thus was passed the Military Commissions Act of 2006.

Salim Ahmed Hamdan, a Yemeni captured during the American incursion into Afghanistan, had all charges dropped in June 2007 on what sounds like a very odd technicality: He was only an enemy combatant, he wasn’t an “unlawful enemy combatant.” Then, in December, the same judge heard new arguments and determined that, oh yes, Hamdan WAS unlawful after all. On Aug. 7, 2008, Hamdan was sentenced to 66 months in prison, including time served. In November 2008, he was returned to Yemen.

Here’s an interesting contrast: “The American Taliban” versus “The Australian Taliban.”

John Walker Lindh, the Silver Spring, Md. native captured during the Battle of Qala-i-Jangi, was indicted by a federal grand jury on ten charges. Lindh, who could have received up to three life sentences and 90 additional years in prison, pled not guilty. But prosecutors had a problem: Lindh’s confession might not have been admissible because it was made under duress. So, get this:

To forestall this possibility, Michael Chertoff, then-head of the criminal division of the U.S. Department of Justice, directed the prosecutors to offer Lindh a plea bargain, to which, Lindh would plead guilty to two charges: — serving in the Taliban army and carrying weapons. He would also have to consent to a gag order that would prevent him from making any public statements on the matter for the duration of his 20-year sentence, and he would have to drop any claims that he had been mistreated or tortured by U.S. military personnel in Afghanistan and aboard two military ships during December 2001 and January 2002. In return, all other charges would be dropped.

Despite the fact that the key piece of evidence in his trial was pooped upon because he was roughed up, Lindh is locked up in the slam, and it was the American criminal courts that threw the book at him.

David Hicks, the “Australian Taliban,” who was captured by a “Northern Alliance warlord” near Kunduz, Afghanistanin early December 2001 and turned over to US Special Forces for $1,000, was tried by a military tribunal.

He presently lives in Abbotsford, New South Wales with his new wife.

As we sit, Ali al-Bahlul, the only Gitmo detainee who has ever been convicted by military tribunal, is launching his appeal.

Meanwhile, Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman and nine others convicted with him of plotting to bomb bridges, tunnels, and buildings in Manhattan and kidnap key political figures, rot in jail, thanks to sentences issued in federal court.

Justice in the hands of sloppy practitioners threatens justice in an immense fashion. It has led to the reality that American citizens have been whisked away and held without access to justice, and if Joey Padilla can be, my friends, there’s no reason why you can’t. Justice in the hands of sloppy practitioners led to the bizarre and cruel treatment of people in an Iraqi prison, which left an enormous brown stain on America’s ass and probably created thousands more Islamic extremists.

Moreover, tribunals have have not forged the justice that even the most wing-nuttiest nut-job froths at the mouth for. Justice—and even its uglier cousin, vengance—seem to get served up in bigger juicier scoops by the long-established criminal justice system rather than the toddler that is the military tribunal system. And every time a conservagoat asshole opens up his or her pie-hole about to defend tribunals over criminal courts, they’re actually defending an ineffectual system that has only produced ONE conviction and that has released at least several people thought to be dangerous terrorists back into the wild.

Why are the right-wang nutties so soft on terrorists?

Revelations from Big Love

You can't make the bottom line about GLBT marriage any clearer than did Barbara, the fanatical Mormon mother in Big Love, when confronting her daughter who was about to get married at the court house. "It (the courthouse wedding) isn't celestial, Barbara exclaimed. It's not even in a church. It's nothing. It's just a contract with the government." Exactly so. There are church marriages and there are government marriages and that's the way it should be. The problem, of course, is that some people with church marriages think they have rights superior to the rights of others… superior even to those of other churches that may embrace GLBT marriage. (Which begs the question, if the civil authority refuses to recognize a gay marriage conducted in a church that allows it as part of its liturgy, isn't the civil authority violating the constitution? But I digress.) I am inspired by Barbara to offer a new structure for state law that clearly speaks truth to morons on the subject of GLBT marriage. The law would first recognize the right of churches to define marriage for themselves without limitation by government. Churches could exclude anyone they want and include anyone they want. Churches could marry same sex couples if they so choose. They could exclude same sex couples. They could practice miscegenation. Some states might want to limit polygamy or polyandry, not that there is anything wrong with it, but the constitution appears to allow this significant infringement on religious freedom. The law would then recognize marriages conducted by civil authorities between any persons without regard to sexual preference. State laws may also recognize polygamous and polyandrous marriages (which they would be doing if they allowed churches to recognize them). In either case the states would need to amend the divorce laws to provide methods for unwinding all or part of a multiple marriage.) States may impose on either type of marriage the public health requirements they now impose, and protect children by imposing age restrictions. In the interest of efficiency, I recommend that the new statute eliminate the need for marriage licensing. Marriage certificates could instead be issued by the marrying authority, and produced when necessary by the married persons. I know that all this is self evident to anyone who has a clear understanding of the correct relationship between church and state. The average moron, however, needs it spelled out.

January 28, 2010

In Other News: Fox 'News' Has A 'Brain Room'

As reported by Media Matters For America:
On Fox News' America's Newsroom, co-host Martha MacCallum claimed that the "Fox News brain room" determined that President Obama's statement that a recent Supreme Court ruling would "open the floodgates" for foreign corporations to spend in U.S. elections was "wrong," adding that "the court specifically wrote that it was not overturning restrictions on foreign dollars." In fact, four of the Supreme Court's justices agreed in their opinion that the decision "would appear to afford the same protection to multinational corporations controlled by foreigners as to individual Americans" to make certain election-related expenditures.
Not only that, but what Fox "News" reported doesn't even make sense (surprised?). Let's just say that, indeed, the Supreme Court Republicans Of The United States (SCROTUS)* had written a specific banination of foreigners buying media in support of specific candidates during election seasons in the United States into the mind-numbingly stupid and shitty decision they made in Citizens United V. American Democracy. How do you enforce it? If Abu Dabu Du Inc., based in Saudi Arabia, has a subsidiary firm based in Scammon, Kan., called Elvis Smith and Sons Widgets and Pooper Scoopers Inc., what stops company A from putting a little money into company B to buy an ad on election eve claiming that Barack Obama dines regularly on puppy-tail soup? The fact is, we won't know for sure for a while if Citizens United V. American Democracy will open a loophole for foreign influence or not. But it is possibly one of the possible consequences. And flat-out denials of that won't alter the reality of the matter. * Thanks to Steph and the Mooks.

Up Yours, Supremes!

On January 27, 2010, a man threw his shoe at a Supreme Court Chief Justice. Probably not what you're thinking. The shoe-ee was Dorit Beinisch, Chief Justice of the Israeli Supreme Court. Pinchas Cohen walked into a hearing where residents of a northern town were asking the court to shut down an authorized producer of medical marijuana and winged shoes at the man. The first shot beaned him; the second one missed as he fell to the ground. So. It could have been worse. Not by much, though. President Barack Obama didn't do any shoe throwing. But he did look the nine United States Justices right in the eye and told them directly what he though of their piece-of-shit ruling in the Citizens United Vs. American Democracy decision.
With all due deference to separation of powers, last week the Supreme Court reversed a century of law that I believe will open the floodgates for special interestsWith all due deference to separation of powers, last week the Supreme Court reversed a century of law that I believe will open the floodgates for special interests—including foreign corporations—to spend without limit in our elections. I don't think American elections should be bankrolled by America's most powerful interests, or worse, by foreign entities. They should be decided by the American people. And I'd urge Democrats and Republicans to pass a bill that helps to correct some of these problems.
This was a rare public dress-down of the judiciary by the executive. It was the most stunning moment of last evening's SOTU, made even moreso by the revelation that The Ali-Ton 3000 was mouthing a protest to the President's accusations even as he made them. In that moment, people, the President of the United States was speaking for you in a way that was utterly. pure and democratic. It was, how you say, a teachable moment.

Nice Speech, Barack

I think I have not been commenting here much because I feel like I'm whistling into the wind. The Democratic Party has been hiding its head in shame since the Massachusetts election. The press has declared the Obama Administration a failure. I personally have not been as happy with the Obamanator as I would like. For a progressive, he has been disappointing in many ways. What a difference a speech makes. The President set the record straight. Obama started his administration with an $8 billion deficit, two wars and a rapidly declining employment rate. The GOOP has been nothing but obstructionist on every issue for the entire year. The Democratic Party cannot abdicate leadership even if it only has a 57 vote (I don't count LIEberman and Benny Nelson) majority. The President set a new agenda. There is money for jobs, small business, and the environment. Health care is not off the table and both parties are tasked with finding a solution for it. There is a big new emphasis on education. Transparency is still a high priority and he is still promising Don't Ask Don't Tell. Bottom line, he said most of the things that caused me to work for his election, he established a work plan for getting this done and he put the onus on the Congress, particularly the Senate, to get off its ass and get this done. He promised to get us out of Iraq this year, a wonderful thing. I am not happy that he is pursuing this adventure in Afghanistan, but I used to think it was a good idea and so I understand why he is doing it. I have never been happy that Obama abandoned any effort to hold the Busches accountable for the eight years of facism they forced on our nation and I think his failure to do so will result in a repeat performance, perhaps in my lifetime. One highlight was calling the Supremes out on their decision to turn government over to corporate fat cats, including foreign ones. The NYT reports that Alito reacted like the lying scum he is my mouthing "its not true." So is the court planning to reverse it's decision, create an exception for foreign corporations, or decide that foreigners cannot own controlling interests in American companies? Is he crazy? The President plans to hold the GOOP responsible by holding monthly meetings with the leadership. I recommend he get these meetings on tape. You can't trust the GOOP to tell the truth about what happened at those meetings. In a few days we will have some evidence of whether this speech has an effect. Hairy and Nan should be coming up with some plan to get health care passed. The GOOP will be meeting with the President at it's retreat this week. My guess is the GOOP will continue to obstruct, and Hairy will have to let them filibuster. GOOD!! Nothing like Armageddon to clear the decks.

January 27, 2010

Hmmmm...

"Oh, G, whatever shall I do to be worthy of your love?" "How about if you break into Sen. Mary Landrieu's office and attempt to plant a bug?" "Sigh."

Elizabeth Warren on 'The Daily Show'

If you watch any embedded Internet clip today, please make it Elizabeth Warren—Chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel for TARP—on The Daily Show of Jan. 26. This is a brilliant human being who offers the most pithy summary of the country's most recent financial history ever and also drives the real point home:
This is America's middle class. We've hacked at it and chipped at it and pulled on it for 30 years now. And now there's no more to do. Either we fix this problem going forward or the game really is over.

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January 26, 2010

'Stupid Hooverism?'

The reviews are in on last night's breaking news re: the federal gov'ment's spending freeze.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Rachel Vs. Jared Bernstein FTW.

Krugman calls it "appalling on every level." Robert Reich says "Main Street is in worse trouble than ever." "...a perfect example of fundamental unseriousness... Ezra Klein, on the logistics of a "spending freeze":
The administration will target worthless programs, like agricultural subsidies, in order to preserve good programs. But the reason worthless programs live in budget after budget is they have powerful backers. And those backers will rush to Congress to protect their profits. You think Blanche Lincoln, who chairs the Senate Agricultural Committee and is behind in the polls for her 2010 reelection, is going to let her state's subsidies get gored?
Candidate Barack Obama, on the "hatchet" versus the "scalpel":



What's the Matter with Kansas?

Here are a few basic political truths. #1. The stated goal of the Republigoat Party is to destroy the federal government. The stated goal of the Democratic Party is to make the federal government work better for human beings. #2. Theoretically in the United States, every adult person is guaranteed exactly one vote. However, not every adult person in the United States is guaranteed to be ridiculously wealthy. #3. Massive power may be held generally by either of two entities, corporations and/or the government. #4. Your vote does not hold any influence whatsoever over corporations. Stephen Helmsley doesn't give a crap whether you vote Republican, Democrat, or Gypsy. Theoretically, though, your vote still matters to the people who run the government. Given these simple realities, then, why in the wide wide world of sports are so many people yelling rock-chalk for the corporations? How can any American cheer the decision in the Citizens United case?

January 25, 2010

Leave Your Munny

From The Huffington Post:
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner does not think that Move Your Money is a good idea. Geithner addressed the campaign against too-big-to-fail banks during a recent interview with Politico. While Geithner said he understood the anger against bailed out banks and said it was fair of bank customers to expect more, he did not explain why he thought that it was a bad idea.
But Papa Bonk did, in a comment to a previous post regarding ZsaZsa's efforts, comments that deserve to be front-paged:
Dog, I love populists! So much idealism. So little information. At this point community banks don't want your money. Your deposits are a liability that they have to hold capital against, and its hard to build capital in this economy. Moreover, if they are well-managed (i.e. they didn't get overextended in the great bubble and are still healthy) they have all the money they need and are making all the loans they can reasonably make. If you want to support your local bank or credit union you should be sure to get your car loan there. Many people find it convenient to get the loan from GMAC or whatever captive financier is available at the dealer. See the local bank or CU before you refinance the house or take out a student loan. If you are using fee income services at Chase, by all means go to the local bank or CU. The fees are probably lower. Until interest rates go up, no one is making money on money. Park your spare cash someplace safe, try to get a little return on it, but the local bank doesn't really need it. If you want to burden BofA, leave your money with them.


January 22, 2010

'I'm Not Gonna Stop Fighting...'

...how's about you start?

It's None Of Yo' Business

Is it a coincidence that Scott Roeder's trial is under way? Or that last night's episode of Private Practice had Naomi go crazy and try to strong-arm her own daughter into having an abortion? Today is the 37th anniversary of the Roe V. Wade decision. It's also "Blog for Choice" day. NARAL offers a question to get the blogging started: What does "trust women," the pithy slogan of the late Dr. George Tiller, mean to you? Here's what it means to me. And it's pretty pithy. I think Tiller chose that because "It's none of your god-damned business" wouldn't fit on a button. Keep it safe and legal, people.

Air America RIP

Sorry to hear of the demise of Air America, but I can't say I am surprised. BORING is the only way I can describe most of the AA content since … Ron Kuby left? Definitely. I like the idea of Air America a lot, but could but I could not listen to an idea. AA started out like a house on fire. I used to go out for lunch and drive around just so I could catch a little of Al Frankin every day. And after we lost our radio station to an ALL SPORTS TALK format, AL was gone already, but there was Rachel, which I Podded daily and listened to on the drive to work. Then Rachel left, and they added Kuby, which was worth a listen most of the time so I switched my POD to Kuby. Then they dropped him. I tried the others. Bill Press, a nice guy but boring. Maybe I didn't give Tom Hartman a chance. The one time I listened he insisted that his ancestral connection to George Mason made him an authority on the Constitution. (My Uncle George said was just a little too weird, and I think I disagreed with what he was saying anyway.) What's left? I always liked Steph Miller, in small doses. Gotta agree with Brady. Its no body's fault but Air America's. You can't tell me that they couldn't find talkers in the liberal blogosphere who were as good as Al Frankin or Rachel Maddow. They are both brilliant, but their stock in trade is good research, serious analysis and an edgy sense of humor that helps highlight the more egregious notions of the enemy on the right. How hard is that to find?

January 21, 2010

A Sad Song Just to Turn it Around

Wooooooooooooooo. What a baaaaaaaaaaad day. Awful. Just awful. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwful. The Supreme Court has just put American democracy up for sale on Ebay. Not that it wasn't already leased. Here's what President Obama had to say about today's decision:
With its ruling today, the Supreme Court has given a green light to a new stampede of special interest money in our politics. It is a major victory for big oil, Wall Street banks, health insurance companies and the other powerful interests that marshal their power every day in Washington to drown out the voices of everyday Americans. This ruling gives the special interests and their lobbyists even more power in Washington—while undermining the influence of average Americans who make small contributions to support their preferred candidates. That's why I am instructing my Administration to get to work immediately with Congress on this issue. We are going to talk with bipartisan Congressional leaders to develop a forceful response to this decision. The public interest requires nothing less.
Isn't he cute? How the hell are you going to do that, Barry? Corporations can buy Congress now. And, by the way, how are you going to do all this banking stuff when corporations can buy Congress now? Hell. How are you going to do anything? There is nothing to be done about this legislatively, nothing that can be done quickly to change this. This is the main reason that progressives MUST support Obama through to a second term even if they find him lacking. Obama must be allowed to change the 5-4 imbalance on the Supreme Court. Or, the Constitution must be amended to clarify that a corporation—a word that DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE CONSTITUTION ONCE—IS NOT A PERSON. I say, if it can't scratch its ass, it's not a person. I do often wonder if the Tea Baggers understand what the Boston Tea Party was actually about—a protest of a multinational CORPORATION allowed to run amok. We're gonna need a new tea party, and I don't mean one of these lame and sometimes racist events we saw in Hot Stupid August. And OH! Poor Air America! I was such a fan. I even coughed up $50 when Danny Goldberg came around with his hat held out. AAR started out with the right idea bu soon lost its nerve after Evel Cohen screwed them. Then Goldberg screwed them from the back, cutting loose the network's finest product, the wonderful Morning Sedition. That would be the full arc of AAR's shark-jump. It was downhill from there. Having cut its finest ensemble cast, it allowed other casts to go by way of attrition, replacing them, likely to save a few shekels, with 1A1M* programming. THEN they fired their BEST 1A1M practitioner, one Randi Rhodes, ostensibly because she called Hillary Clinton a whore, not on the air, mind you, but in front of a crowd after dark in Sam Framcisco. And they fired Kent Jones. And so on, and so on. As of its current incarnation, the lineup is so awful I don't even know what it is. Lionel and Montel Williams? Please. I know this isn't a good time for the business of media. AAR's statement mentions this. But, Air America, I'm sorry, pal. You did it to yourself. Fortunately, AAR's near six-year run buoyed a lot of careers. It spawned the wonderful Rachel Maddow and sent her to the big time. Its turbulence caused many liberal talkers to strike out on their own or to strike deals with larger media companies. It also raised awareness of the existence of them and others who were never branded AAR. And, how could one fail to mention that Air America Radio was the bridge for one fellow from comedian to Senator? Ted Baxter of Fox "News" and his progeny will have a lot of fun with this. They'll gloat. They'll trumpet the failure of Air America Radio. And yes, at the core of it, AAR may have failed. But the success that has rippled as a result of its existence has been stellar. So long, Air America Radio. It's a shame because with today's decision by SCOTUS, we may actually need you now more than ever. *One Asshole, One Mic

Friendly Fascism...Welcome To It!

By a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court on Thursday rolled back restrictions on corporate spending on federal campaigns. The decision could unleash a torrent of corporate spending on attack ads in upcoming campaigns, though several Democratic lawmakers have already signaled plans for a legislative response to limit the impact of the decision.



January 20, 2010

The Washington Generals Ride Again

Liberal talkers will be breathlessly reporting this story (watch for it on Keith tonight). But I guarantee you that tomorrow or the next day it will be reported as a hoax. I guarantee it. From Think Progress:
A new professional basketball league called the All-American Basketball Alliance (AABA) sent out a press release on Sunday saying that it intends to start its inaugural season in June, with teams in 12 U.S. cities. However, the AABA is different from other sports leagues because only players who are "natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league." AABA commissioner Don "Moose" Lewis insists that he's not racist, but he just wants to get away from the "street-ball" played by "people of color" and back to "fundamental basketball."


Quoth

Also, Mr. Hartmann has quoted this several time throughout today's broadcast. It bears repeating here and is outlandishly topical:
The people don't want a phony Democrat. If it's a choice between a genuine Republican and a Republican in Democratic clothing, the people will choose the genuine article every time; that is, they will take a Republican before they will a phony Democrat, and I don't want any phony Democratic candidates in this campaign.
— President Harry Truman May 17, 1952

The Upside of 59

I can now relay a conversation I had with Mama Bonk on Saturday. I can do so now without, you know...tempting fate. She asked me what I thought of the election in Massachusetts. I think we're going to lose it, I said, and I think we should. MB was a bit taken aback. Why do you hope for that? she asked. Because, I said, Democrats use that 60-vote thing like a rubber crutch. Rather than trying to legislate intelligently to pass stuff with a simple majority, they're brainwashed into believing that they have to work for 60 or they won't even try. As Thomas Hartmann has just pointed out on the radio, guess what, Dems? NOW YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PASS SHIT WITH FIFTY-ONE VOTES. The upside of that? IT'S FIFTY-ONE VOTES. Time to put reconciliation back on the table. Time to get the cots out and make a filibuster a real good ol'-fashioned Jefferson Smith style filibuster. It's time to shut these assholes out of some meetings, time to hold some hearings, time to get some subpeonas honored, time to force a few 3 a.m. votes. They say people only use 10 percent of the brain—the fact is that our Democrats are only using perhaps four percent of their power. This latest event cuts the threshold to 51 votes, but it narrows the process. It's time for our Senate Democrats to get downright creative.

Wrestliing with the Slime Monster

Up and down the corridors of power this morning hotshot Democratic Party strategists are pointing fingers at each other. Who, indeed, is responsible for the loss of the Massachusetts Senate seat? There is plenty of blame to go around. Tip O'Neill often told the story of the old lady who told him she had not voted for him. "Why not?" he asked. "Because you didn't ask for it," she replied. I suspect this basic law of politics was ignored in this special election year. Martha Choakley assumed she was entitled to the seat by virtue of having won the Democratic nomination and never bothered to ask the voters for their support. So you certainly could blame Martha. There were a handful of warning signs ignored. The Virginia governor race should have told everyone that Barack Obama's victory did not mean a rubber stamp for Democratic candidates. Virginia Democrats ended up running a lackluster unknown against a polished campaigner who had already beaten the Democrat in a state-wide race. The loud mouthed extroverts who think they are the solution to all our problems fought it out in the Democratic Primary and left us with everyone's second choice. Still, a Christofacist who wants to cure the queers and return housewife status to all women and who espouses discredited Raygun fiscal policies got elected. How did that happen? You can say we lost New Jersey's governorship because the incumbent Democrat was widely unpopular. But you still have to ask how he managed to lose to a GOOPer with a girlfriend on the government payroll who believes helping multinational corporations is the way to fix the problems that got started because we trusted too much in multinational corporations. So the experts have a lot to answer for. I think the truth of it is that your average Obama political expert has a big handicap in understanding the average voter. Obama progressives are optimists. They think the common man is somehow noble and wise and will make the right decisions when called upon. For this reason we refuse to get down and wrestle in the slime with Karl Rove. And for this reason we will never beat him. Karl Rove is a pol with no illusions about the nobility of the common man. Rove knows the average American is an ignorant dumbass who can be swayed with shiny bobbles and magic charms. The correctness of his analysis is written in recent history. Ronnie The Traitor Raygun did not get elected because he promised to resolve the oil crisis and rectify monitary policy. He got elected because he promised Morning in America would be ushered in by kicking Russian ass, jailing welfare queens and performing voodoo rites on Wall Street. Scores of blue collar workers voted against their best interests to elect the man who did more to eliminate good paying blue collar jobs than any other President in history. Bill Clinton got into office running against a weak campaigner who, ironically, believed In public policy more than hype and was saddled with a very bad economy (left to him by the Raygunner). Clinton syated in office by throwing morsels to the slime monster from the ship of state (the entire GLBT community, for example) and won the hearts of the people by publically pissing on Newty Gringo's brilliant plan to shut down government and not send out Social Security checks. With opponents like that, who needs a campaign committee. I will not make the case here that The Moron George W. Busch ever won an election. His clever manipulation of the media by creating the white collar mob, however, helped legitimize … in the eyes of the dumbass voters… the court-ordered coup that put him in office. He stayed in office by running against "activist judges," "the homosexual agenda" and, of course, "moslem terrorists." He won a second time by suppressing the vote in Florida and Ohio, but he bought credibility with the masses with terror alerts generated by the wars he created for the very purpose of manipulating the masses. Throughout the Busch reign, you never heard a blue collar worker complain that his/her income was cut (which it was) that his/her life expectancy was shortened (which it was) or that his childrens' prospects had diminished (which they had). Real issues were never on the radar screen. Busch and his handlers fed the masses crap and the masses ate it up. The Buschees believed they would establish a 1,000 year GOOP Reich and if he had not been so incompetent (Katrina) he might have gotten away with it. I am still not convinced that Barack Obama would have won the election if the GOOP had picked a better candidate than John McCaine. The election might have been closer if McCaine had picked a better running mate.. Joe LIEberman, for example. A more attractive presidential candidate may actually have won. Obama's appeal was in the fact that he was fresh, he had some pretty awesome rallies and a cool campaign slogan. Yes We Can is just another way of saying Its Morning in America. Winning elections is a matter of getting the masses out to vote for your guy. If we don't figure out how to do that before November the time clock for the 1,000 year GOOP Reich will start again. My advice to the experts is more bread and circuses, less public policy.

January 19, 2010

I Hope The Democrats Lose in Massachusetts

This past weekend, Mama Bonk asked me what I thought about the Massachusetts special election for Teddy Kennedy's seat. I think my answer surprised her. "I think we're going to lose," I said. "And I think we should." Jon Stewart recently got to some of why I have espoused this view:
If this lady loses, the health care reform bill that the beloved late senator considered his legacy, will die. And the reason it will die... is because if Coakley loses, Democrats will only have an 18 vote majority in the Senate, which is more than George W. Bush ever had in the Senate when did whatever the fcuk he wanted to.

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If Senate Democrats are ever going to get anything done, I think they'd be better off at this point if they didn't have the paradoxical covers to run to, between the security blanket of your "60 votes," which by the way they NEVER had, to the wussy excuse we always seem to hear, that of "we don't have the votes." Well, then, stop screwing around and blow up the filibuster. Duh. The problem, and I intend to write in-length on this tomorrow, is that we've had a presidential candidate campaign at least implicitly as a bold progressive who has governed as a chip off The Great Triangulator and a Senate majority only too happy to follow his lead. But people didn't turn out to vote for timid progressives—in fact, being a timid progressive is like the worst political position one can hope to maintain. Maybe if this party gets kicked in the shin it'll rise up and have to kick some ass for a change. Maybe.

January 15, 2010

Me Neither

Comment: I'll never understand Americans This is an excellent perspective from some British dude, re: Health Care Reform. Best thing you'll read all day. It's interesting: What the hell does all of this insanity look like from outside the fishbowl?

Prudence Palin's Favorite Founder

I don't want to write about Prudence Palin anymore. But the lady just keeps on walking into rakes.

She's asked by Fox "News'" resident academic Glenn Beck, so, who's your favorite Founder? Which reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George discuss their favorite explorer. She says:
You know...well, all of them because they came collectively together with so much diverse opinion and diversity in terms of belief but collectively they came together to form this union...and they were led by of course George Washington...so he's got to rise to the top. Washington was the consumate statesman. He served. He returned power to the popel. He didn't want to be a king, he returned power to the people, then he went back to mount vernon, he went back to his farm.
I'm not making this up. See for yourself.

(Am I hearing right, or does Beck say "bullcrap" to her at some point?) Now. I don't want to dis the "Faddah of the Country" and whatnot. But it's clear that "all of them" is a stall technique for Palin when she's having trouble thinking on her feet. And second, "George Washington" (or, as Butthead referred to him, "that dude on the dollar") is not a terrible answer. But it is one a second grader could offer. And even her understanding of Washington is a bit simplistic and eerily self-serving. Washington didn't sign the Declaration of Independence. He had been included in the Continental Congress as a delegate from Virginia, but he resigned to act as commander general of the Continental Army and therefore could not participate. And let's not pretend that Washington didn't have his detractors at the time. He most certainly did. There was in fact a plot to remove him as general, an effort that included fellow "Founder" Benjamin Rush, among others. The Conway Cabal, led of course by an Irishman, was eventually exposed and therefore thwarted. Later in his life, Rush would express regret for his role in the matter, though this expression sounds to be to be a bit grudging:
[Washington] was the highly favored instrument whose patriotism and name contributed greatly to the establishment of the independence of the United States.
Bear in mind, Palin and Beck are both visible political figures in a "movement" that purports to worship the "Founding Fathers," although Beck has done so much to rub shit into Thomas Paine's hair. But you stutter when asked to name one and then you blurt out such a hackneyed choice such as George Washington? Couldn't she and Beck have worked on that softball question beforehand so she could offer a more interesting answer than that and not look like a dolt? How about George Mason, whose refusal to sign the Constitution in part led to the creation of a Bill of Rights? Or Richard Henry Lee, whose motion in the Second Continental Congress caused the Declaration of Independence to be, um, declared? Oh, you'd like him, Prudence:
To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them.
Or, for hell's sake, why not just go all the way and name the greatest Founder of them all? Jefferson? Ring a bell? And no, I do not mean George Jefferson...dolt. See, it's great to think you're leading a history cult that worships "the Founders" on the one hand. It's even better to have some modicum of intellectual curiosity to bother to do a Google search or three or even to READ A DAMNED BOOK. (I suggest "What Would Jefferson Do" by Thom Hartmann for starters.)

How Can Charles Farthammer Be So Wrong About So Much?

Yes, the Farthammer is in rare form in today's column, which purports to examine the "fall" of President Obama. There's that spin we talked about. Let's dissect.
Liberals try to attribute Obama's political decline to matters of style. He's too cool, detached, uninvolved. He's not tough, angry or aggressive enough with opponents. He's contracted out too much of his agenda to Congress.
Speak for yourself, not for "liberals," okay, Farthammer? As we'll discuss later, that's actually not it at all.
These stylistic and tactical complaints may be true, but they miss the major point: The reason for today's vast discontent, presaged by spontaneous national Tea Party opposition, is not that Obama is too cool or compliant but that he's too left.
BZZZZZZT! Wrong.
...Obama unveiled the most radical (in American terms) ideological agenda since the New Deal: the fundamental restructuring of three pillars of American society -- health care, education and energy. Then began the descent—when, more amazingly still, Obama devoted himself to turning these statist visions into legislative reality. First energy, with cap-and-trade, an unprecedented federal intrusion into American industry and commerce.
Factually wrong, big guy. Cap and trade is not unprecedented. It was used quite effectively during the 1970s to help alleviate the problem of acid rain. Then, the Farthammer lays into health care reform.
Then, the keystone: a health-care revolution in which the federal government will regulate in crushing detail one-sixth of the U.S. economy. By essentially abolishing medical underwriting (actuarially based risk assessment) and replacing it with government fiat, Obamacare turns the health insurance companies into utilities, their every significant move dictated by government regulators. The public option was a sideshow. As many on the right have long been arguing, and as the more astute on the left (such as The New Yorker's James Surowiecki) understand, Obamacare is government health care by proxy, single-payer through a facade of nominally "private" insurers. At first, health-care reform was sustained politically by Obama's own popularity. But then gravity took hold, and Obamacare's profound unpopularity dragged him down with it. After 29 speeches and a fortune in squandered political capital, it still will not sell.
It won't sell because it ain't reform. In poll after poll, when you present folks with the notion of a true public option, people like the idea. If only the bill we've got involved government as you've described. If only. No, Farthammer, the problem with the "reform" we're going to see is that it delivers tens of thousands of new customers directly to the very private corporations who have been screwing us for years without providing any kind of market steam valve, which the public option would provide. It won't provide much in the way of antitrust, it won't expand Medicare, and, as it looks lately, it will tax benefits. This bill doesn't sell because it does everything wrong. That's why.
The health-care drive is the most important reason Obama has sunk to 46 percent. But this reflects something larger. In the end, what matters is not the persona but the agenda. In a country where politics is fought between the 40-yard lines, Obama has insisted on pushing hard for the 30. And the American people—disorganized and unled but nonetheless agitated and mobilized—have put up a stout defense somewhere just left of midfield.
If only! Hell, I'd settle for the 35! No, Charles Farthammer, you are wrong, wrong, wrong. The reason President Obama's approval numbers are down is because he ran as a bold, game-changing leader, but he has governed considerably more cautiously. His approval numbers are down because he has chosen to run his executive branch modeled after The Great Triangulator instead of after that of the only four-term President in American history. His approval numbers are down because he's got a whole lot of Tim Geithner and not enough Robert Reich. That's why. You freak. Another reason his approval numbers are down? THOSE FRAKKING POLLSTERS NEVER CALL BRADY BONK! Because while I am of the opinion that Obama hasn't invested enough political capital in the people who actually did the legwork for him, I also think he's actually accomplished quite a lot in a year. I, for one, approve.

January 14, 2010

Red Cross Blog

It is worth mentioning that one of the best NGO blogs out there belongs to the American Red Cross.

January 13, 2010

Yeah, That 'Haiti Sold Its Soul' Stuff Was Bad, But...

...if you listen even more closely to Marion "Pat" Robertson's comments today, you hear something even more nefarious than what's being cropped and reported to you. Here are the comments you will hear. And, yes. They are reprehensible.
[The Haitians] under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.' True story. And so the devil said, 'Ok it's a deal.' And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another...
By the way, when Robertson says they were "under the heel" of the French, what he means to say is that they were "slaves." And, I'm just taking a wild guess here, but I betcha the theory that a pact was made with the Prince of Darkness stems from the fact that yellow fever took out a lot of the a-holes who had returned there to refortify the slavery regime following a revolt by the natives. I dunno. Whatever. It's not worth speculating; Marion Robertson is a crazy old fucker. But. As I've said. There's more. During the broadcast, Robertson asks Bill Horan, President of Operation Blessing, the following question:
Well...if all those buildings are down, I understand more have fallen than are standing...it may be a blessing in disguise; there might be a massive rebuilding of that country. Is that possible?
That, my friends, is the sound of a disaster capitalist licking his salivating chops in anticipation. And it is far more terrifying than any moronic, lip-doodling evangelism.

I'm Sorry, But...

...anyone who argues against climate change by saying that warmer weather is good or by noticing that it occasionally snows in Texas should be placed on an ice floe and pushed the hell out to sea.

Rachel Prepares You For the Spin

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy



January 12, 2010

Good Cartoon

As pointed out to me in e-mail by my Granny G.

Those of Us Who Are About to Pay Our Taxes Salute You!

After years of corrupt and inept leadership, the State of New York is headed for another budget crisis. Why is this not a surprise? New York wastes more money per capita than any other government in history. Whose fault is this? Let us look at the record. Conservative GOOPer George Pataki was governor of New York from 1995 to 2006. He never delivered a budget on time and never reduced a deficit. During that entire period, the GOOP owned the state senate. The top guy in the Senate, Joe Bruno, was just convicted of taking payments for votes. In short, that's a good place to start. But I am not going to try to blame the entire NY budget mess on the GOOP. There is plenty of blame to go around. The favorite target for blame on the right is labor unions, which have controlled the State Assembly (House) for as many years as the GOOP has controlled the Senate. This is, of course, a knee jerk typical of the right. Labor may be part of the problem, but no more so than corporate interests which get many under the table tax breaks from the state. Everybody has a rice bowl and Albany is the place to go get it filled up. In New York, politics works great as long as you can hose down the squeaky wheel with the oil of taxpayer dollars. Taxpayers get some blame. A few years ago somebody wanted to balance the budget by cutting the school nurse program. You would have thought they were going to kill children!! I was new in the area at the time and was a little stunned to learn that concern for this program was nearly universal, not just a knee jerk liberal response. And while the liberal in me likes the idea of school nurse programs, I had never lived anyplace that had a school nurse, so I wondered if it wasn't a good place to cut. You gotta make choices, right? NO! New York kept the program and the budget was balanced with some magic accounting. New York has more than 700 organizations with the power to raise taxes or spend public money. These "authorities" and "special taxing districts" are rarely audited and thus rarely held accountable for the millions they can raise and spend. Moreover, these organizations often create lucrative payola opportunities for the politicians. Benefits have included substantial salaries (up to $150,ooo per year for one water authority board) and lifetime health insurance for board members and their families. In New York, each county is run by a legislature. Each legislator gets a salary and health insurance benefits. In Monroe County there are 35 legislators paid $20,000 each. In Suffolk County, there are 18 legislators being paid $86,000 each. Legislators have paid staff and offices, among other perks. By comparison, Arlington County, VA has five commissioners earning about $50,000 annually. The New York Assembly routinely budgets about $100 million for pocket money. This money is given out by the majority leaders to members of the Assembly and the Senate to be spent any way they wish. For example, the local Choral Society may get $10 K for new robes, the mental health clinic may get $50 K for a new bus. It has good and bad uses, but its primary function is to maximize the value of incumbency by providing elected officials with a slush fund to payoff political supporters by supporting their favorite causes. Often times these transactions involving taxpayer money are announced with great fanfare and thanks to the politician as though it was a personal contribution. While Albany simmers in the slime of rice bowl politics, New York's leadership fiddles. No one is accountable. Everyone is full of crap. Politicians who want publicity can always get it by getting a new law passed. They substitute hype for actual performance on the politician's score card, so opportunities to create new laws are highly valued in the Empire State. For example, New York now has a law that makes drinking and driving even more illegal than ever before if you have children in the car. Aren't the regular drinking and driving laws enough? Is a charge of reckless manslaughter not sufficient to cover a case where a car load of kids are killed because the driver was smashed? No matter. The issue got publicity and the politicians behind it look real busy. In the meantime Rome burns and the much beleagured Governor is hoping to make ends meet by legalizing ultimate fighting in New York. Hey, how about gladiators in Yankee Stadium? Nationally televised murder and mayhem could actually bring in enough money to get us through all this.

Hairy Reed's Dangling Participle

It would be fair, would it not, in the case of the ongoing Imusization of Senate Majority Leader Hairy Reed, to actually read what he was quoted as saying two years ago off the record? Hmmmmm?
Years later, Reid would claim that he was steadfastly neutral in the 2008 race; that he never chose sides between Barack (Obama) and Hillary (Clinton); that all he did was tell Obama that "he could be president," that "the stars could align for him." But at the time, in truth, his encouragement of Obama was unequivocal. He was wowed by Obama's oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama&@=#8212;a "light-skinned" African-American "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one," as he later put it privately.
The source of much of the phony outrage over this seems to be around the word "Negro." Not a word we're fond of these days of course, and it is somewhat regrettable that the sitting ML can be quoted as such. However. He did not say "Barack Obama is a Negro." He did not say "I think it's swell for Negroes to have to eat in separate restaurants from whites, and that if they try to fight us on that, we should be allowed to turn fire hoses and dogs on the Negroes." Because, see, that's essentially what Trent Lott said that got him into trouble. That's the difference. Lott suggested that the country should have elected a man presnit who was running specifically on a segregationist platform,, a platform that essentially said that black people should be killed and maimed before they should be allowed to share public facilities with white people. Hairy Reed suggested that Obama's physical attributes and his strength at the podium might just help him win the White House. Again, it gets us back to a question I tend to ask a lot regarding Republigoats like Michael "Lexington" Steele: Are you playing stupid, or are you actually that stupid?

January 11, 2010

Just as Dim as You Thought

A while ago, I wrote that, perhaps, a sitting senator ought to know the difference between the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

Now, a 60 Minutes interview reveals that twice-failed presidential candidate John McWeirdsmile nearly brought into the White House a person who was even less informed a person than is John Boner.

In public, Palin looked like the game changer McCain had wanted, but in private, the authors say she was struggling to learn too much too fast.

“Her foreign policy tutors are literally taking her through, ‘This is World War I, this is World War II, this is the Korean War. This is the how the Cold War worked.’ Steve Schmidt had gone to them and said, ‘She knows nothing,’” Heilemann told Cooper. “A week later, after the convention was over, she still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11. And, literally, the next day her son was about to ship off to Iraq. And when they asked her who her son was going to fight, she couldn’t explain that.”


Prudence Palin was born on February 11, 1964. Yet, she had to have the Cold War explained to her. She apparently could not keep the world wars straight and had trouble wrapping her gray matter around the 38th parallel. Apparently, she’s never seen a single episode of M*A*S*H.

Today, we learn that Palin is all set to become part of the great corporate “media filter.” On Fox “News,” of course.

I’m not sure if this confirms or disproves the Peter Principle.

Regardless, it is absolutely mortifying that John McWeirdsmile nearly placed this idiot in the OEOB. Just remember that. Remember that every time this jackass opens his mouth. He nearly put Prudence Palin, whose knowledge base probably only nearly approximates that of Sal the Stockbroker, into the White House.

He should be made to wear a “Palin 2012″ t-shirt wherever he goes.

January 8, 2010

Somebody Owes Us An Apology

Attention, Rudolpho Giuliani, Mary Matalin, and Dana Perino: The three of you owe Papa Bonk and I a personal apology.

In the last several weeks, it is clear that you three have been on the television trying out a brand new right-wing propaganda tactic, that of trying to realign the historical record to read that, actually, no terrorist attacks whatsoever occurred on the watch of Gorge W. Boosh. Here's what Rudolpho said just this week on Good Morning Amurka:

We had no domestic attacks under Boosh. We had one under Obama.
He actually said this. On television. And George Snuffleupagus DIDN'T INTERRUPT HIM. Good God, George. STOP SNIFFING GLUE.

("Looks like I picked the wrong time to quit sniffing glue..." Heh.)

This statement came from Rudolpho "A verb, A noun, 9/11" Giuliani. It is stunning. Stunning. It nearly drives one to want to pull an Artie Lange.

Now, listen, you three, as I said, you all owe PB and I a personal apology. Because we were here, in Gorge Boosh's home town at the time*, on Sept. 11, 2001. And I saw the smoke myself as I walked home to Arlington, and PB felt the damned walls shake. We didn't lose as much as some nor did we witness as much as others. But we were here, and we witnessed it, and we can tell you with full certainty that SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH HAPPENED WHILE GEORGE WALKER BUSH WAS THE PRESIDENT.

As did the anthrax attacks.

As did the shoe bomber.

I will accept my apology now. Assholes.

And no, I do not mean Crawford, Texas.

Accountability

It has been a rough week for the President of the United States, who must be cursing the day that Umar Farouk Hubbadubbadingdong—who, it must be noted, is by sheer technicality a liar liar—was every borned. The failed attempt to blow Northwest Flight #253 has been politically damaging for Obama, but only because there are so many treasonous bastards out there who think it's fine to poop in their hands and throw it at the nation's chief executive. The fact remains, however, that Obama this week has actually had his most glorious moments thus far in his Presidency.

I think perhaps that people have been so jaded through recent years that they are unable to recognize the incredible value of the straightforward, forthright assessment we've been offered. Or, perhaps they forget the outrageous foot-dragging and the refusals to testify regarding the 9/11 Commission on the part of the previous administration. Nonetheless, it is utterly refreshing to have a CIC who levels with you instead of one who swaggers in and tells you in one breath that everything's great and you should go shopping and in another that you should be shitting your pants in fear, with neither assessment at all approaching actual reality.

Obama told you yesterday that there's no way to close all the pores. This blog has been saying this for years, that the "war on terror" is a feckless undertaking because so long as there's one boy with a bomb and a dream, there's naught you can really do because all it takes is one. The truth is that trying to stop people from wanting to 'splode things over here requires a strong national infrastructure, an active global diplomatic effort, good police work, and a credible judicial process.

Case in point regarding the importance of a "credible judicial process:" Did you see the one where the appeals court upheld the conviction of Zacarias Moussaoui, better known as "the only person convicted in a U.S. court in connection with the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks?" Friends, I have news for you. This guy will never see the sky again. His appeal was denied; his conviction is concrete, and it is undeniable because it stood up to the process. Can we please STFU about how we can't try these bastards inside the United States?

Obama also told you yesterday exactly what happened and what's being done about it. And, it was a chilling assessment because it says that the United States' intelligence problems are still systemic and still rot its core. It says that our counter-terrorism organizations still suffer from a "lack of imagination," as the 9/11 Commission concluded in July 2004. Most chilling, I think, is that all this hub-bub may have actually come about because someone couldn't spell "Abdulmutallab." Everyone in intelligence, from CIA Chief to whoever who mops the floors should be detail-oriented to the point of sickness. And, it does leave one to wonder if our failure to retain people familiar with the culture and language is kicking us in the groin, too.

Regardless, I think it can be said that President Obama had his finest hour thus far this week. It won't be presented that way in the shitty corporate press, and certainly traitorous pundits and legislators on the right will continue to insist complete moronic bullshit like that the real problem is just that Obama's not using the word "terror" and its variants enough. But I think history will view this week as the clarifying week of the Obama administration. And there was no pile of rubble, no bullhorn, no pithy catch-phrase. There was just he, the President of the United States, looking you in the eyes, and telling you the truth.



January 5, 2010

More Advice for the Tiger

I wrote this a couple of days ago, before Brit Hume pointed out to me that Tiger Woods adheres to an inferior religion and will only get right when he finds Jesus just like good old Brit Hume has done. Maybe so. But wouldn't that make him even more boring than he already is? Everybody has advice for Tiger… even me, although I think the higher power Tiger ought to be reporting to is himself. Here is what I wrote Sunday morning: My college my dorm roommate had a collection of (what today would be considered mild) porno which showed people, particularly women, naked, hair and all. Most of these were nudist colony magazines and the subjects were not necessarily top quality models. Guys would come into our room and want to look at the collection. They would page through and pause and declare, "OH Gross" numerous times, and then they would leave, tossing a couple of "Gross" declarations over their shoulder on their way out the door, back to their own rooms where I suspect they did what they were inspired to do by the gross stuff they were looking at in my room. These are the kind of guys who play golf. Their particular hero was Tiger Woods, primarily because he has a knack for hitting the little white ball better than any other human in history. Tiger made most of his zillion dollars … more than $100 million a year since he turned pro… catering to these people by endorsing stuff so they would feel good about buying it. He gave the master golfer stamp of approval to ATT, GM, Nike, Gillette, Gatorade, numerous resorts, various golfing gear and wear. The stamp of approval is important because this is a crowd that cannot make the simplest decision without measuring first its mass acceptability. Heaven forbid that you should follow your inner spark! Turns out, however, that Tiger has been following a spark of his own. This causes a serious quandary for the boys in the bright fuscia golf shirts. How can you buy a golf club endorsed by a guy who pays prostitutes for a good time? What would they say at the country club? "He must like wemmin. He has a Tiger Woods club!!" So obviously the big corporate sponsors are running in the other direction. God forbid a normal guy would want to get a little on the side. Maybe Bill Clinton, may Eliot Spitzer, but not old Davy, the Caddie's bets friend. That would be gross! Here is some advice for Tiger. Fuckem! Be Happy. You are free. You are still rich and you probably have another 15 years of being the dominant player of that silly sport. Enjoy. Read Wilt Chamberlain's biography. Tell them to get a real life

The Brit Hume Puzzler

I don't know why I bother to read Tom Shales. I usually don't. Dude's got the sweetest job in the world, but he's not very good at it. But in today's column, he took on Brit Hume's comments about Tiger Woods' religious faith. In case you missed it:

Shales is onto something to start:
It sounded a little like one of those Verizon vs. AT&T commercials—our brand is better than your brand—except that Hume was comparing two of the world's great religions, not a couple of greedy communications conglomerates. Further, is it really his job to run around trying to drum up new business? He doesn't really have the authority, does he, unless one believes that every Christian by mandate must proselytize?
Later on, though, Shales misses the boat entirely. Just watch.
The easiest mistake to make would be to associate Hume's off-the-cuff, off-the-wall remark with the pathology of Fox News, a cherished target of the left just as the left is a cherished target of certain Fox personalities. Some of us cling to our faith that there is no institutional bias at the network, and that the business of Fox, to paraphrase Calvin Coolidge, is business.
Sorry, Tommy. Hume's comments here actually further belie institutional bias on the part of Fox "News." Look, I'm the last guy to begrudge Mr. Hume his faith, especially since—as Shales mentions—he came to it via a poignant personal tragedy, the suicide of his kid. But your average broadcaster on the set of your average cable news setup would never feel comfortable saying what Hume said. Sheri Sheppard of "The View," okay, maybe. But I don't think Wolf Blitzer would feel comfortable offering Woods such clumsy spiritual advice on the set of "The Situation Room." And I guarantee you won't be hearing any such thing out of John McLaughlin's set—and he's been an ordained priest. No, no, Mr. Shales. It is well-documented that Fox "News" has made its way by forging a spiffy new newsroom culture, a culture that thrives on politics that driven by Christianity's sometimes uncontrollable lust to evangelize. That Hume felt perfectly free to throw Buddhism under the bus on the air live was just the latest of many thousands of symptoms of this network's "pathology."

January 3, 2010

Rush Limbaugh: Still A Big Fat Idiot

Rush Limbaugh, after being released from The Queen's Medical Center in sunny Honolulu, where he had been admitted with chest pains.

Based on what happened to me here, I don't think there is one thing wrong with the American healthcare system. It is working just fine.

Hey. Rush. Hawaii is a mandate state. You know. Sort of like what health care reform is going to do?



America's Calling, Mazer Rackham...

I am fond of often saying that a terrorist attack the likes of The September The Eleventh will never happen again, and I say that to understand why, you should read a novel called Ender's Game.

There is an enormous idea in Orson Scott Card's masterpiece that leads me to believe this and that I think was borne out on Flight 253. You can defeat your opponent by developing a drastically innovative strategy. Once you do, though, you alter the game entirely, and the strategy will never be as effective again.

Consider the Fosbury Flop.

Before the 1968 Summer Olympics, high-jumpers accomplished their goal by jumping the bar straddle-style or some other similar method. Then along comes this fella Dick Fosbury, who started leaping over the damned thing backwards. They laughed at Dick's goofy technique, but the man won the gold and set astonishing records with his goofy flop. Now, that's just how it's done. And now, the Flop isn't some innovative new technique that completely shocks and routs the competition.

The September the Eleventh was the Fosbury Flop of international terrorism. Before The September The Eleventh, the average Homer had heard of hijackings but generally expected that hijackers just want to fly to Cuba or some shit. After the Flop, though, there's not a soul in the world who doesn't know what time it is and who isn't willing to pull a Jasper Schuringa if it's needed.

That's my theory, anyways.

I've read a bit of analysis on the foiled plot by Umar Farouk Hubbadubbadingdong to blow an aeroplane out of the sky over Detroit. But I haven't read the problem boiled down to its simplest parts yet: The USA can its down our domestic air traffic—remember, the planes on The September The Eleventh were domestic flights—all it likes. But Flight 253 was an international flight. What does that teach us?

It seems to suggest that international cooperation and globally accepted security standards are more essential than previously imagined. It seems to suggest that a severe reconsideration of the visa process is needed. It also seems to suggest that flashing your own legs and playing possum just doesn't work anymore. Travelers are ready to roll.

I also think it suggests something else: Most terrorists are far from the well-organized conspiracy that turned the Pentagon into a square so many years ago. This attempt was incompetent at best. Why would blowing up an international flight over Detroit strike terror into the average American's heart? Wouldn't that plane be mostly depleted of its fuel? Wouldn't you mostly just kill those on board and a few cows on the ground? And doesn't this asshole feel stupid that he's been dubbed "The Underpants Bomber?"

As PB points out, Darth Cheney and his might minions are all over this shit like rabid flies. It doesn't surprise me that Republigoats continue to get crazier and crazier. Having to defend the administration that allowed The September The Eleventh to happen will certainly take its toll on one's mental facility, and it forces you to have to contort into positions on issues that are unfathomable to most normal Americans.

Now. On to an administrative note. I have tried in vain for a while to maintain a mirror of this blog at kiav.blogspot.com, mainly to improve our visibility on the old blogosphere.

However, until now, this has required too much copying and pasting on my part, so it often did not get done. However, thanks to a plug-in called "CrossPress," when PB or I post here, it gets posted there, too. So now, the Blogspot site is more of a true mirror. Just to let ya know. If you're a Blogger blogger, feel free to follow us, and we will return the follow. Thanky.

Get out the Rack

The Underpants Bomber has brought out the usual in the right wing nut farm. Dik Chainey wants Obama to strap the boy to the rack and water board his ass for a few days. Arch Bishop Pat Buchannon wants the Underpants Bomber turned over to the military and locked away forever in Guantanamo. Tom "How far up Dik Chainey's Ass Do You Want Me to Go" Ridge has lost all faith in the American legal system. He claims that if we extend basic civil rights to our enemies they will be let out on the street to kill again. The basic facts are these. The Underpants Bomber is singing like a canary. The best guess is that he probably does not really know much, since he is a stupid child who was duped by the real bad asses over in Yemen into undertaking this effort and they probably took pains not to let him know more than he needed to know. Moreover, as if we had to repeat it, torture does not work. Intelligence that we get from torture is almost universally made up to satisfy the torturer and make the pain stop. The Underpants Bomber is being handled exactly the same way the Shoe Bomber was handled. Given his Miranda, offered the best legal counsel. He will be tried in a court of law by the citizens he tried to kill and I suspect they will do their duty. The Shoe Bomber is doing life without parole in a maximum security prison of our choosing and we expect him to die there. By the way, Tom Ridge was head of Homeland Security at the time the Shoe Bomber was apprehended, Dik Chainey was vice president and emperor and Pat Buchannon was a loud-mouthed chorister for the Busches working the MSNBC beat. Shoey pled guilty to avoid a trial. Chainey used torture to get better lies to cover up his incompetence and paper over his phony war against Iraq. He loves torture. Ridge has no mind of his own and so he backs whatever the Dark Lord wants. Archbishop Buchannon has fantasies of a new inquisition. He sees dungeons at Guantanamo filled with infidels awaiting the rack while the Archbishop, wearing red vestments and a princely mitre, murmers secret latin poems to calm the screaming. I wonder if Chainey would have the guts to run for office on a ritual torture platform. Say, he promises that ritual nationally televised torture of some random Infidel once a month will keep away the evil terrorists. It could be a reality TV show. Make a million bucks. Let the audience vote on who lives or who dies. Have guest celebrity torturers. Maybe that's what the Busch administration was shooting for?